Pizza Hut's New Hand Tossed Pizza

I know, I know...  This blog is for local food only.

I decided that on occasion, I can make an exception when something really deserves to be reviewed.  And, holy shit, does the new Pizza Hut Hand Tossed pizza deserve it.

In a word: Ew.  Two?  Fucking ew.


I'm not the biggest fan of Pizza Hut.  I actually consider them the fourth best delivery pizza chain.  And that's out of four. 

 I actually kind of like Domino's, but since they gave me the wrong change and never corrected it or returned my calls, I've got a sour taste in my mouth that's going to last a while.   Papa John's pizza is pretty good, but Papa John's as a company is shit.  Northern Lights... it's pretty fucking bland, but they make good wings.  And I once saw a pair of ladies underwear on the rear view mirror of the male delivery driver.  So gross.

So that brings me to Pizza Hut.  They have a "new" pizza, so I figured I'd give it a try.  They promise "buttery, garlicky goodness".   There was none of this so-called "goodness" around.  Anywhere.

I ordered a Super Supreme, minus green peppers, add pineapple.  And an order of Pepperoni Stuffed Pizza Rollers. 

The Rollers are pretty much Pillsbury Croissant dough rolled around mozzarella and a few pepperonis.  Served with Pizza Hut's signature too-sweet tomato sauce or ranch.  I choose the red sauce.  Pretty okay, but I could make them at home.  And much better.

As for the pizza, the bottom crust was practically raw.  Gooey where the sauce and dough meet.  The bottom actually sagged in places, like a wet mattress.  It was pretty gross.   

The toppings were just warmed through.  This couldn't be more evident than with the onions.  The large chunks of red onions. They don't even bother to separate the layers.  HUGE cut, freeze, ship.  The onions were still raw.  They couldn't even manage to coax that sweet, caramelized onion flavor out of them after being passed through an oven, which shows how little time the pie actually spent in an oven.

Ew.

For most pizza, I have  leftovers.  For this pie, I ate just one slice and put it in the fridge for the next day.  You see, when I heat leftover pizza, I put it in on my three-generation-seasoned pizza stone.  This usually crisps up the crust.  Oven heated to 400 degrees, stone so hot the crust sizzles a bit when you lay each piece down.  A normal, fully cooked slice would take about five minutes.  I left the Pizza Hut slices in for close to eight.  The crust bottom became really crisp, but where the sauce and the crust meet? STILL DOUGHY AS FUCK. 

Moral of the story, guys?  Unless you enjoy eating raw pizza dough, fucking avoid Pizza Hut.